Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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