What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
