We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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