smell my finger.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
