Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
