I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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