Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore

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(225): View more from Louisiana

at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.

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(812): View more from Indiana

After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.

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(512): View more from Texas

no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.

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(941): View more from Florida

Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.

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(416): View more from Toronto

You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.

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