So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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