If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
