So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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