dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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