I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
