like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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