I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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