and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
