when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
