hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
