We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
