first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
