is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
