after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
