Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
How's work?
Spinning.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
