i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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