Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
