How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
