I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You've changed since you got that strap on
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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