so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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