he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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