dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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