and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
