Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
