Nicole vs. Life
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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