im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
