Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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