I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
FUCK WHALES
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