well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is Oprah even human
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
