I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize