is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
