the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
