great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
