So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize