Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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