508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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