He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
