I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
