Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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