laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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