somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
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