hotel room ftw
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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