Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize