So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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