S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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