Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
