You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
