Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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